Honor Thy Father

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness, and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

I was blessed to be raised by a wonderful father. He was a single dad for a while and he was a very nurturing guy. He recently married his high school sweetheart and continues to be a strong influence in the lives of his children.

I would also not be complete without talking about and praising the father of my children. Though his parenting may not be perfect (whose is?), but he has been a stellar provider and a stable force in the lives of my children. He has always been first (or maybe second) in line to play and help his children.

Fathers play an important role in a child's life. "Involved fathers bless children from the time of birth onward." "Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning."  "To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations." Praise should be given to fathers. 

Practices Do Make a Difference

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. 

The First Presidency has issued the call to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility."

These truly are some of my favorite people. I love the fruit that has come from hard work and intentional parenting, though extremely flawed.

The work of parenting is hard and not without a great deal of heartache at times, but this will truly be the most important work we will ever do.

Motherhood

Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. 


There has never been a bigger blessing in my life than that of being a mother. I dreamed of it all my life, and knew I would be PERFECT at it. I would be so kind, thoughtful, generous, let them do whatever they wanted, I would be the "cool" mom, never get mad at them, read to them, play with them, never mind that I would cook delicious food, they would ALWAYS want to talk to me, I would teach them EVERYTHING they could ever need to know, including the gospel.  They would never talk back...because they wouldn't need or want to. THEN.... I had a baby :) Who knew that this would be such challenging work? Heavenly Father knew.  

This message from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland is such a valuable lesson. It is easy to get bogged down with some of the seemingly trivial things about motherhood, but we need to remember we are doing the best of the Lord's work.

James R. Clark said, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." He also stated:  "The calling of motherhood has been identified as the most ennobling endowment God could give His daughters..."

Julie B. Beck: "Mothers who Know".

 I am so grateful for the gift I have of being a mother. Though harder than anything I have ever done, it is by far the most rewarding and most important.

Marriage is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. 

In today's time period, marriage is being delayed. The overall age for marriage has increased, and the percentage of those dating has decreased, preferring more "hanging out" to actual dating. "Many emerging adults believe they will be ready for marriage only when they are finished being single."(Jason S. Carroll). Carroll also points out that "many young people today enter marriage with a built-in escape route that lessens the likelihood that they will stick with a marriage in periods of trouble that are common early in marriage." Marriage is a commandment, and we should live our lives in such a way that we are ready and prepared to embrace it when the opportunity arises. Choosing a marriage partner is not checking off a list of qualities, but rather developing ourselves to be the kind of person we want to be.  Jeffrey R. Holland states, "Do you want capability, safety and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-Day Saint.  Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril." While soul mates are FOUND, eternal companions are CHOSEN and MADE. 
Carroll says, "The fundamental purposes of this life remain the same as they have always been - to receive a body, to believe in Christ, to progress spiritually, and to form an eternal marriage and family. As today's young adults prepare for eternal marriage, they must have faith that Gdd will help them become ready for marriage, find a wonderful person, and establish a happy family - in His way and in his time."

What a joy it has been to watch my children make these wonderful choices. These two (above) were married 12 years ago and have 5 children The two (below) have been married just over a year.  Love both of these additions to my family.

Had to get a picture with the grandkids of my daughter and son-in-law (pictured above).

John Van Epp - How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk - YouTube 

▶ 3:43

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwLs-tn9A5A

The Grandma Club

Extended families should lend support when needed. 

One of my favorite roles in life is that of being a grandma. It is the reward for having survived teenagers (though for the most part I got pretty luck there). I was in the delivery room for the birth of my first grandchild and since that time my life has never been the same.

Grandparents were not a huge part of my life, due to family circumstances, and I had always dreamed about the kind of grandma I wanted to be. It has been the best thing ever. I have 8 (almost 9) grandchildren and they are the light of my life. I cherish the relationships I have with them. I (aside from their parents, am their biggest fan. Grandkid soccer games are just as fun, if not more, than my own kids' games were, and you multiply that by ... many... ok, you do the math.

"Grandparents provide valuable support to their adult children and grandchildren. The most common types of support that older parents give are emotional support and advice, and research shows that parents given high levels of both to their adult children. Babysitting grandchildren is another frequent way that grandparents help their adult children"(Richard B. Miller and Jeremy B. Yorgason).













On the flip side of this, we should teach our children to love and care for their grandparents and encourage this relationship.

"We encourage families to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and attention they deserve. Let us remember the scriptural command that we must care for those of our own house lest we be found 'worse than an infidel' (1 Timothy 5:8) . . .  If they become less able to live independently, then family, Church, and community resources may be needed to help them. When the elderly become unable to care for themselves, even with supplemental aid, care can be provided in the home of a family member when possible." SO SINCE I AM SURE MY CHILDREN ARE READING THIS... START GETTING MY BEDROOM READY. :) 

My dad has been the constant in my life and an important part of the lives of my children.


(My dad with his new wife... also his high school sweetheart).

It is important that family members work together and support each other.

Equality partnership in marriage

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  - The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

Courtney Dixon says, "Equal partnerships are not made in heaven - they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time....and getting there is hard work"

What does it mean to be equal? Equal means two people doing their absolute best together. This does not necessarily mean that everything is split equally down the middle, similar to making a grocery list and dividing it. It is two people coming together with their strengths and weaknesses and then doing everything they can to make that marriage work.

"As outlined in the proclamation, equal partnership means each person fills her or his special responsibilities as a mother or father, while also supporting and assisting each other in those divine duties." (Dixon).

For each family this will mean something different. Who does the finances and pays the bills? Who does the yard work? The cooking? Overall, none of it matters and we do what we can. The key is we do what we can together, working together in all things to create, build, and maintain the eternal families we want to have.