The Proclamation: A Guide and Banner for Family

The Family:

In learning and reading about families for the last several weeks, my testimony has been strengthened about the truthfulness of the gospel, especially in regards to its teachings on families.

Some important truths:

• Marriage is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is central to God's eternal plan. 
• Gender is an essential characteristic.
• Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony. 
• Children are an heritage of the Lord. 
• Fathers, by divine design, are responsible for providing and protecting their families.
• Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. 
• Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon principles such as faith, repentance, love, prayer, work, and wholesome recreational activities.
• Extended family should lend support when needed. 
• Parents are obligated to help one another as equal partners (though disability or death does necessitate individual adaptation. 
• We are warned against calamities if the family if these responsibilities are not met (okay - I butchered that one.)

Lloyd D. Newell said, "More than ever, families are under attack...The eternal truths in the proclamation counteract this culture and provide individuals and families with a guide and a standard, a kind of Liahona or compass to chart their course...Truly understanding and internalizing the principles in the proclamation changes our perspective, our goals, and our entire approach to family life."

As Latter-Day Saints, we are called upon to defend and protect the family, to uphold the standard, to do all we can to be responsible citizens. We can do this as we converse with neighbors, get involved in our communities, and let our voices be heard. The family is the basic fundamental unit of society, and without it, all of society would be harmed. 

I stand and add my voice for the family!!!!! 

https://www.facebook.com/tiffany.l.jensen/videos/10214413965571134/

Parenting with Love, Limits and Latitude.

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness. 

"I teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves" - Joseph Smith.

"Parents bringing children into this world and then rearing them in love and righteousness is essential to the great plan of happiness." (Craig Hart)

Let's face it, parenting is THE HARDEST job to do. It is also the most rewarding. The thing to remember is no matter the choices our children make, if we are doing our best, partnering with God, we can be assured we have been great parents. It is place to learn to be like Christ, and we have the opportunity to practice and emphasize virtues such as charity, gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, persuasion, and appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship. By contrast, unrighteous dominion centers on coercion (force) and makes for less than satisfying relationships. 

Our children need: 

1) Models and examples of appropriate behavior.

2) Warmth and love. 

3) Opportunities to make choices.

4) Limits and boundaries, while allowing room for compromise.

5) Clear and reasonable expectations.

No small job, right? 

David O. McKay observed, "Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by the servants you preach." 

When children feel they are your highest priority, they are less likely to push buttons and seek attention through misbehavior.  They need to be talked to and listened to, hugged and played with, asked for their opinions, know they are valued. 

Joseph F. Smith counseled, "You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason."

Whistle While you Work

I remember Saturdays at my house growing up. It was, at the time, not a day to look forward to. It was Saturday chore day. Chores were always (probably still are) something to get through so you get to the fun part of the day. Even when my children were small, it was the deal to get up Saturday, do the work, so we could go play. I have never doubted the value of hard work, it truly is a gift from God. But until reading my assignments this week, I am not sure I really could articulate the importance of working together in family life.

"When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience. The most ordinary tasks, like fixing meals or doing laundry, hold great potential for connecting us to those we serve and with whom we serve." (Successful Marriages and Families). 

"Our family work has been designed to point our hearts toward the central reason we are here on the earth - to build a family. If children were never underfoot and only had to be fed once a day, parents would get distracted. But because they are spitting up on us, whining to us, dumping cereal on our floors, and saying 'Mommy' all day, there's no way we can forget where our focus needs to be."

It is in the home where children learn these skills.  And we, as parents, get the opportunity to work alongside them.

Prayer Strengthens Marriage

Going along with the importance of family prayer is the importance and healing power of prayer in a marriage.

President Monson says, "May I offer newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed....I can assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray.  You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another."

"A key aspect of coming to view a relationship as sacred is to first include God as an active member of the relationship" (Lambert, 196).

Prayer is the means by which individuals may invite God to play an active role in their relationship." (Lambert). In marriage, there is a triangle when God is included and is at the apex of the triangle. When two people individually strive to become closer to God, they will automatically become closer to each other.

Faith and Prayer

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith and prayer. 

"Praying together as a family and reading the scriptures... together is probably the best thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other."

It is said that the family that prays together stays together. From the earliest time of my ventures in motherhood, I have depended on the Lord in prayer to help and guide me. They are his children, after all. 

"There's something that....when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing, and it's God, then parenting and economics and space and food and disagreements and hassles and joys and celebration and all that other stuff..it works different, it seems different, it feels different."

The extent to which husbands and wives participate in religious practices together and hold similar believes is one of the stronger predictors of the quality of marriage.

Prayer heals relationships, unites families and helps us drawer nearer to Christ.

By loving behavior of parents, children learn to understand the nature of God. If a child grows up having a loving father, it is easier for them to understand God and who he is.

Honor Thy Father

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness, and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

I was blessed to be raised by a wonderful father. He was a single dad for a while and he was a very nurturing guy. He recently married his high school sweetheart and continues to be a strong influence in the lives of his children.

I would also not be complete without talking about and praising the father of my children. Though his parenting may not be perfect (whose is?), but he has been a stellar provider and a stable force in the lives of my children. He has always been first (or maybe second) in line to play and help his children.

Fathers play an important role in a child's life. "Involved fathers bless children from the time of birth onward." "Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning."  "To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations." Praise should be given to fathers. 

Practices Do Make a Difference

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. 

The First Presidency has issued the call to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility."

These truly are some of my favorite people. I love the fruit that has come from hard work and intentional parenting, though extremely flawed.

The work of parenting is hard and not without a great deal of heartache at times, but this will truly be the most important work we will ever do.

Motherhood

Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. 


There has never been a bigger blessing in my life than that of being a mother. I dreamed of it all my life, and knew I would be PERFECT at it. I would be so kind, thoughtful, generous, let them do whatever they wanted, I would be the "cool" mom, never get mad at them, read to them, play with them, never mind that I would cook delicious food, they would ALWAYS want to talk to me, I would teach them EVERYTHING they could ever need to know, including the gospel.  They would never talk back...because they wouldn't need or want to. THEN.... I had a baby :) Who knew that this would be such challenging work? Heavenly Father knew.  

This message from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland is such a valuable lesson. It is easy to get bogged down with some of the seemingly trivial things about motherhood, but we need to remember we are doing the best of the Lord's work.

James R. Clark said, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." He also stated:  "The calling of motherhood has been identified as the most ennobling endowment God could give His daughters..."

Julie B. Beck: "Mothers who Know".

 I am so grateful for the gift I have of being a mother. Though harder than anything I have ever done, it is by far the most rewarding and most important.

Marriage is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. 

In today's time period, marriage is being delayed. The overall age for marriage has increased, and the percentage of those dating has decreased, preferring more "hanging out" to actual dating. "Many emerging adults believe they will be ready for marriage only when they are finished being single."(Jason S. Carroll). Carroll also points out that "many young people today enter marriage with a built-in escape route that lessens the likelihood that they will stick with a marriage in periods of trouble that are common early in marriage." Marriage is a commandment, and we should live our lives in such a way that we are ready and prepared to embrace it when the opportunity arises. Choosing a marriage partner is not checking off a list of qualities, but rather developing ourselves to be the kind of person we want to be.  Jeffrey R. Holland states, "Do you want capability, safety and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-Day Saint.  Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril." While soul mates are FOUND, eternal companions are CHOSEN and MADE. 
Carroll says, "The fundamental purposes of this life remain the same as they have always been - to receive a body, to believe in Christ, to progress spiritually, and to form an eternal marriage and family. As today's young adults prepare for eternal marriage, they must have faith that Gdd will help them become ready for marriage, find a wonderful person, and establish a happy family - in His way and in his time."

What a joy it has been to watch my children make these wonderful choices. These two (above) were married 12 years ago and have 5 children The two (below) have been married just over a year.  Love both of these additions to my family.

Had to get a picture with the grandkids of my daughter and son-in-law (pictured above).

John Van Epp - How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk - YouTube 

▶ 3:43

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwLs-tn9A5A

The Grandma Club

Extended families should lend support when needed. 

One of my favorite roles in life is that of being a grandma. It is the reward for having survived teenagers (though for the most part I got pretty luck there). I was in the delivery room for the birth of my first grandchild and since that time my life has never been the same.

Grandparents were not a huge part of my life, due to family circumstances, and I had always dreamed about the kind of grandma I wanted to be. It has been the best thing ever. I have 8 (almost 9) grandchildren and they are the light of my life. I cherish the relationships I have with them. I (aside from their parents, am their biggest fan. Grandkid soccer games are just as fun, if not more, than my own kids' games were, and you multiply that by ... many... ok, you do the math.

"Grandparents provide valuable support to their adult children and grandchildren. The most common types of support that older parents give are emotional support and advice, and research shows that parents given high levels of both to their adult children. Babysitting grandchildren is another frequent way that grandparents help their adult children"(Richard B. Miller and Jeremy B. Yorgason).













On the flip side of this, we should teach our children to love and care for their grandparents and encourage this relationship.

"We encourage families to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and attention they deserve. Let us remember the scriptural command that we must care for those of our own house lest we be found 'worse than an infidel' (1 Timothy 5:8) . . .  If they become less able to live independently, then family, Church, and community resources may be needed to help them. When the elderly become unable to care for themselves, even with supplemental aid, care can be provided in the home of a family member when possible." SO SINCE I AM SURE MY CHILDREN ARE READING THIS... START GETTING MY BEDROOM READY. :) 

My dad has been the constant in my life and an important part of the lives of my children.


(My dad with his new wife... also his high school sweetheart).

It is important that family members work together and support each other.

Equality partnership in marriage

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  - The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

Courtney Dixon says, "Equal partnerships are not made in heaven - they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time....and getting there is hard work"

What does it mean to be equal? Equal means two people doing their absolute best together. This does not necessarily mean that everything is split equally down the middle, similar to making a grocery list and dividing it. It is two people coming together with their strengths and weaknesses and then doing everything they can to make that marriage work.

"As outlined in the proclamation, equal partnership means each person fills her or his special responsibilities as a mother or father, while also supporting and assisting each other in those divine duties." (Dixon).

For each family this will mean something different. Who does the finances and pays the bills? Who does the yard work? The cooking? Overall, none of it matters and we do what we can. The key is we do what we can together, working together in all things to create, build, and maintain the eternal families we want to have.

These are three happy kids right here.

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

When my oldest child was born, I was filled with the hopes of dreams that most mothers had, the one where you are going to be a perfect parent, thus resulting in perfect children. Well, then I actually went home from the hospital and realized things were not going to be that easy. This same sweet, beautiful daughter struggled to need to learn lessons for herself, as we all do, and soon became the slave to drugs. She, at this time, had three children who endured this experience with her. It finally became too much and her babies were taken away from her. My heart was broken for my daughter, but even more so for these precious children whose lives had been filled with instability and uncertainty. How important was the reminder that Heavenly Father has a plan for His children, all of his children. And while my heart continues to ache for the dreams of what could have been, these children have been saved by a truly remarkable family who loves them, cares for them, and has adopted them and been sealed to parents.  These parents, though they were not biological, have filled the very essence of what the family proclamation stands for. "God's plan for His children may be ideally characterized as the placement of children into homes where parents are committed to their development and proclamation principles are practiced". (David A. Nelson). The church has called upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles. The home is the basis of a righteous life , and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential responsibility. These kids are THRIVING, they are loved, they are being taught the gospel, and given even opportunity to have wonderful lives.

Family Recreation: Building Strong Families

We are a playing family, always have been.  For the most part we enjoy hanging out together. From the time our kids were small, we took every opportunity to play together. We never spent much money, but it was important to me that we build those family memories. I love the fun we have together, and is one of the best ways to connect with my children, especially now that they are grown. Any reason to skip housework....I am all over that. 

PUT AWAY THE PHONES (unless, of course, you are doing something together...which we have found a few of those too).

Why is this so important? In an article by Mark A Widmer and Stacy T. Taniguchi, it says, "Our free time should be used wisely to create the best possible life, to promote individual growth and strengthen families.  Meaningful recreational does not just happen; it must be prepared for, cultivated and privately defended. In general, we spent an inordinate amount of time with electronic media and, as a result, become disconnected from one another. We have lost vital and nourishing connections to nature; many of us do not exercise, are overweight and work too much.  We suffer from depression, anxiety, and discontent.  Wholesome family recreation can help us strengthen our relationships and reduce negative emotional and spiritual consequences. Wholesome recreation strengthens families.

The best times in my life are with these people. And, in case you are wondering, my husband is generally the photographer, and I realize how few pictures I actually have with him in them; I will have to work on that. We may not always get along or decide on what we do, but I LOVE these people and look forward to many more happy experiences with them.

Families are everything

So, who knew that I created a blog in 2008? Clearly, not me.  This is an assignment for a current class I am taking and am hoping to figure this out.  So much has changed in technology since 2008. My plan and goal are to post things weekly about what I am learning about families, and if I am really lucky, I will figure out how to do it and make it look "cute".  I know, I know, I can hear your laughing from here. You - cute? I don't think so.  I know that my family is my world and am so grateful for all they do for me, and I love the time I spend with them.  Wish me luck, and here we go.