The Proclamation: A Guide and Banner for Family

The Family:

In learning and reading about families for the last several weeks, my testimony has been strengthened about the truthfulness of the gospel, especially in regards to its teachings on families.

Some important truths:

• Marriage is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is central to God's eternal plan. 
• Gender is an essential characteristic.
• Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony. 
• Children are an heritage of the Lord. 
• Fathers, by divine design, are responsible for providing and protecting their families.
• Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. 
• Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon principles such as faith, repentance, love, prayer, work, and wholesome recreational activities.
• Extended family should lend support when needed. 
• Parents are obligated to help one another as equal partners (though disability or death does necessitate individual adaptation. 
• We are warned against calamities if the family if these responsibilities are not met (okay - I butchered that one.)

Lloyd D. Newell said, "More than ever, families are under attack...The eternal truths in the proclamation counteract this culture and provide individuals and families with a guide and a standard, a kind of Liahona or compass to chart their course...Truly understanding and internalizing the principles in the proclamation changes our perspective, our goals, and our entire approach to family life."

As Latter-Day Saints, we are called upon to defend and protect the family, to uphold the standard, to do all we can to be responsible citizens. We can do this as we converse with neighbors, get involved in our communities, and let our voices be heard. The family is the basic fundamental unit of society, and without it, all of society would be harmed. 

I stand and add my voice for the family!!!!! 

https://www.facebook.com/tiffany.l.jensen/videos/10214413965571134/

Parenting with Love, Limits and Latitude.

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness. 

"I teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves" - Joseph Smith.

"Parents bringing children into this world and then rearing them in love and righteousness is essential to the great plan of happiness." (Craig Hart)

Let's face it, parenting is THE HARDEST job to do. It is also the most rewarding. The thing to remember is no matter the choices our children make, if we are doing our best, partnering with God, we can be assured we have been great parents. It is place to learn to be like Christ, and we have the opportunity to practice and emphasize virtues such as charity, gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, persuasion, and appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship. By contrast, unrighteous dominion centers on coercion (force) and makes for less than satisfying relationships. 

Our children need: 

1) Models and examples of appropriate behavior.

2) Warmth and love. 

3) Opportunities to make choices.

4) Limits and boundaries, while allowing room for compromise.

5) Clear and reasonable expectations.

No small job, right? 

David O. McKay observed, "Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by the servants you preach." 

When children feel they are your highest priority, they are less likely to push buttons and seek attention through misbehavior.  They need to be talked to and listened to, hugged and played with, asked for their opinions, know they are valued. 

Joseph F. Smith counseled, "You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason."

Whistle While you Work

I remember Saturdays at my house growing up. It was, at the time, not a day to look forward to. It was Saturday chore day. Chores were always (probably still are) something to get through so you get to the fun part of the day. Even when my children were small, it was the deal to get up Saturday, do the work, so we could go play. I have never doubted the value of hard work, it truly is a gift from God. But until reading my assignments this week, I am not sure I really could articulate the importance of working together in family life.

"When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience. The most ordinary tasks, like fixing meals or doing laundry, hold great potential for connecting us to those we serve and with whom we serve." (Successful Marriages and Families). 

"Our family work has been designed to point our hearts toward the central reason we are here on the earth - to build a family. If children were never underfoot and only had to be fed once a day, parents would get distracted. But because they are spitting up on us, whining to us, dumping cereal on our floors, and saying 'Mommy' all day, there's no way we can forget where our focus needs to be."

It is in the home where children learn these skills.  And we, as parents, get the opportunity to work alongside them.

Prayer Strengthens Marriage

Going along with the importance of family prayer is the importance and healing power of prayer in a marriage.

President Monson says, "May I offer newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed....I can assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray.  You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another."

"A key aspect of coming to view a relationship as sacred is to first include God as an active member of the relationship" (Lambert, 196).

Prayer is the means by which individuals may invite God to play an active role in their relationship." (Lambert). In marriage, there is a triangle when God is included and is at the apex of the triangle. When two people individually strive to become closer to God, they will automatically become closer to each other.

Faith and Prayer

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith and prayer. 

"Praying together as a family and reading the scriptures... together is probably the best thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other."

It is said that the family that prays together stays together. From the earliest time of my ventures in motherhood, I have depended on the Lord in prayer to help and guide me. They are his children, after all. 

"There's something that....when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing, and it's God, then parenting and economics and space and food and disagreements and hassles and joys and celebration and all that other stuff..it works different, it seems different, it feels different."

The extent to which husbands and wives participate in religious practices together and hold similar believes is one of the stronger predictors of the quality of marriage.

Prayer heals relationships, unites families and helps us drawer nearer to Christ.

By loving behavior of parents, children learn to understand the nature of God. If a child grows up having a loving father, it is easier for them to understand God and who he is.

Honor Thy Father

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness, and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

I was blessed to be raised by a wonderful father. He was a single dad for a while and he was a very nurturing guy. He recently married his high school sweetheart and continues to be a strong influence in the lives of his children.

I would also not be complete without talking about and praising the father of my children. Though his parenting may not be perfect (whose is?), but he has been a stellar provider and a stable force in the lives of my children. He has always been first (or maybe second) in line to play and help his children.

Fathers play an important role in a child's life. "Involved fathers bless children from the time of birth onward." "Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning."  "To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations." Praise should be given to fathers. 

Practices Do Make a Difference

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. 

The First Presidency has issued the call to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility."

These truly are some of my favorite people. I love the fruit that has come from hard work and intentional parenting, though extremely flawed.

The work of parenting is hard and not without a great deal of heartache at times, but this will truly be the most important work we will ever do.